A Personal Message to My Readers

Or why the hell it's taken me so long to publish anything?!!

Hey everyone,

I’ve been sitting on a newsletter for much longer than is normal—even for a slow writer like me. So rather than more self flagellation, I’m sending this personal message to touch base and to share what’s really going on, underneath the surface.

When I began writing in January, I had completed six months of reflection on my career after two decades of full-time ministry. To that I added an equal amount of grief after losing a life and community that I deeply loved. Finally, I realized that I too had been wounded by a religion gone sour.

I was an emotional wreck, to put it mildly.

This gave me two reasons to write: as a way to heal, and to call out these harmful effects of the soul.

But Then Wonder Happened

Around the same time I began to publish, I experienced a spiritual awakening that was so intense, I had to reach for Eastern philosophy to explain it. I call it the Wedding Effect, and it began with a vision of love as big as the cosmos. That’s when I glimpsed eternity, and took on the role of an earth rider.

Most incredibly, all of my anger and grief disappeared. In addition, I stopped feeling resentment for those with different theological or political perspectives. In the end, I was left with a feeling of overwhelming love for life, people, and this planet that has yet to abate.

So here’s the crux of the problem.

I am now orbiting two very different worlds—deconstruction vs. awakening.

The first one swims in the language of authoritarian religion and faith-based trauma. It is confrontational and divisive. The other one speaks to our human greatness and our connection to everyone and everything. It is expansive and dissolves every conflict we experience, whether with self, others, or the planet.

I would much rather build in the second world. Thus, I have felt fractured and paralyzed as I’ve wrestled with the direction of Tuesdays with Doctor G.

From Jesus to the Buddha

Here’s what I realized after pausing (procrastinating!) to reflect and regroup:

First, it is the whole spiritual arc that matters—from Jesus to the Buddha. It isn’t just one part, nor one part opposing the other. Every aspect is important in order to weave a complete spiritual tapestry.

I must embrace both sides with fervor.

Second, I’ve been every kind of Christian—and in the end, a non-Christian. I have stumbled through every stage of deconstruction, while in the throes of despair. I’ve stood at the edge, staring into the darkness where no god could be found. And now I have awakened to the wondrous complexity of the real world, and to the sheer gift of this present moment.

So, wherever you find yourself, whether you are suffering the soul scars of your faith or walking the lonely path of deconstruction, I can help with empathy and guidance for the journey.

Third, though I don’t wish for conflict, I must continue sharing my story to demonstrate the damaging effects of a distorted religion. Some Christian leaders now see me as a false prophet and a danger to the flock (their words). The tragic irony is that they are blind to how their teachings perpetuate the spiritual injuries I describe. Millions of believers have streamed out of the church (myself included) even as its leaders continue to defend these beliefs.

Finally, wherever you find yourself on this search for meaning, there is a wondrous beauty beyond deconstruction. It is astonishing, radiant, and alive. The stark truth is that every ideology divides us. Every ideology diminishes our humanity. Every ideology flattens the richness of the real world. Nowhere is this more evident than in today’s institutional Christianity.

But you were not born for living within narrow systems. You are a highly evolved and complex human being. You are the [great] one. You are an earth rider. That’s where we’re headed even if we have to go through deconstruction.

Next up, the Wedding Effect, where I discuss my trip to the edge of the universe.

Gustavo

P.S. If you to talk about any of the issues I’ve discussed, hit reply and share your burden.